When the former Philippine Army Chief of Staff Angelo Reyes
committed suicide last Feb 2011, I could not help thinking “he is so talented,
popular, powerful and rich, and he has a beautiful family, what made him
do it?". From this question, I created a story; a story of a boy who grew
up with such love for his country, but whose life ended tragically.
“What is your name
son?” a visitor of the family asked.
“Angelo sir,”
replied the little boy.
“And how old are you
Angelo?”
“I am ten years old
sir.”
“And what do you want
to be when you grow up son?”
“A soldier sir, I
want to be a soldier,” the boy said this with his chest out and with
such bravado that the visitor can’t help smiling.
“Ah, a soldier ... so
you are brave boy, and why do you want to be a soldier Angelo?”
"I love my country
sir and I will defend her from the enemy.
I will not allow anyone
to take over our country ever again sir.”
The visitor smiled, “what
a brave little boy, if we have more of him, our country will be in good hands.”
Angelo’s mother, who was
sitting nearby also smiled and thought; “Oh my son, he will grow up to
be a fine young man, he has such noble dreams; I am lucky to have him for a
son, I am so proud of him.”
And so when she heard
his brave declaration of wanting to be a soldier, she was assured, she was sure
her son would hold on to that small voice of the brave little boy soldier, the
voice of service to country and countrymen.
As with all the mothers
of this world, Angelo’s mother took the boy’s hand and from then on guided
him to his noble dreams. The boy, confident that his mother is holding him,
soared to his dream and to his destiny.
When he reached the
place where his dreams are, trumpets blared his arrival. People he knew and
people he has not met before were waiting to welcome him, they were all
clapping their hands. The noise was deafening but he enjoyed it. It was
such a nice feeling to be on top of the world.
And as it was with all
those who reached their dreams, he was given a welcome gift; a simple mirror.
This will be the mirror of what he has to become when the time to account has
come.
It was such a
simple mirror that, like everybody else who have been to the summit of their
dreams, Angelo opted to keep it in the box and store it in the closet rather
than hang it on the wall
His mother, knowing his
son has reached the summit of his dreams, slowly unclasped her now old weary
hands and said to herself, “My boy will be fine; it’s time to pass the baton
of our generation. It will be safe in my son’s hand. It is time for me to rest,”
and then she smiled and put the baton in Angelo’s hand.
She never doubted that
his son will carry their family’s baton with honor; he was always a good son,
he never gave her any trouble before, not even when he was in his teens.
She was so proud of her
son, and proud of herself too; she has just passed the baton to a son that she
nourished with love and principles … the baton of service to country. For
didn’t she run her miles of service with such dedication to the country too?
She was after all a teacher; teaching is such a noble profession too. And what
about his father, was he not a teacher too?
Ah … the blood that
flows in his vein are nourished with pure love for the country; there is no way
for him to go astray.
And Angelo, true enough
to his promise, fought for his motherland. He was brave and he was
principled, he was a teacher’s son after all.
But sometime, somewhere,
something went wrong. The trumpets stopped playing, the people around him
vanished; Angelo found himself alone. Where there was a deafening welcome
before, there was a deafening silence now.
Angelo could not
understand it, and then he remembers the mirror given him as a gift; he took it
out from the box and look at himself. He wanted to find out what he had become
and what made the clapping stopped. But when he looked at the mirror, there was
no reflection of him; he could not see himself in the mirror anymore.
Frightened, he looked at his hands hoping to find his mother’s hand, but he
cannot see nor feel his mother’s hands too.
He looked at the mirror
again hoping to find a glimpse of him but there really was none. There
was no Angelo in the mirror… there was just the glittering gold and diamonds.
He
did not know then that, for every gold and diamond
That
he gilt his mirror with, a part of him will fade.
The
mirror is now full of gold and diamonds,
There
is no more space for Angelo; Angelo has to go.
Realizing this, Angelo
fell down to his knees and cried. Then he heard the small voice of the brave
little boy soldier with his noble dreams;
"I
want to be a soldier sir. I love my country;
I
will defend her from the enemy.”
The voice jolted Angelo.
It suddenly dawned on him who and where the enemy of the country is. They are
not in the mountains where he pursues them. Oh such a waste of lives and
ammunitions, he was fighting blindfold; the enemy is within him. They are the
demons lurking in his brain and playing havoc on his soul. He has been a
prisoner of the enemy for some time now, how could he not know? Once again he
heard the voice of the brave little boy soldier;
“I love my
country sir; I will defend her from the enemy.
I will not
allow anyone to take over our country ever again sir.”
The dawning took so
long; it is too late now, the enemy is winning the war.
Why did he even let the
demon in, why did he not slammed the door of his soul in the demon’s face
outright?
Angelo sob, he knew he
failed; he failed himself, he failed his mother, and he failed his country and
countrymen.
“Oh mother, I cannot
stop the demon from devouring my being. I have been loyal to my country and
fought my perceived enemy courageously but somehow I was deceived, I was
blindfolded; where I thought there was honor and integrity in my fighting,
there was just pure lie; a pure mockery of heroism.”
When his crying stopped,
he realized there is still one place in him that the enemy has not captured:
his heart. Afraid that they would also invade the place where he can still hear
the voice of the brave little boy soldier, Angelo took out his gun and pointed
it to his heart.
"Mother
I am sorry I failed you.
I was
not strong enough to fight the enemy,
I
walked into the lion’s den and
Danced
with the demons.
Your
legacy, I cannot anymore carry.
I
am sorry.
And the family's baton
fell down the muddy ground.