Lita, just like me, is not a writer by profession
and this is her first attempt to write her autobiography. Her biggest
accomplishment so far is this: writing down everything that she remembers about
her siblings, parents, and the deaths of her sister Eden and brothers
Bayani and Dan. She also shared with us how she was able to help her 2 sisters
and sisters-in-law migrate to Australia.
When I read her story, I laughed. Though she tells of the unfair treatment of her parents, she made it appear quite comical, notwithstanding, you can still feel the young girl's sadness and rebellion within. And when she tells of the financial hardship she went through, you will laugh at the ways she used to get over it.
Funny in some ways but Lita's story will tug at your heartstrings.as it shows her love for her family.
Note: barely a month since coming up with this autobiography, Lita has since done some editing and pasted more pics of the family. She now has a blog of her own;
https://grandmalita.wordpress.com/
Visit her blog to see how she evolve as newbie writer.
SNIPPETS OF MY JOYS AND SORROWS
(My Life)
My Mom...
My Mom was from Valenzuela Bulacan and also the youngest among 5
children of 2 boys and 3 girls. Her mother was an only child who took over the
business of my great grandparents’ when they passed away while her father was a
well-respected chief of police who was well known in their place for being
generous.
.
Mom was only 17 years old when her mother passed away. Her elder
brother and his wife, who do not have children, took her under their wings and
treated her as their own daughter.
When my granddad retired from the police force, he took
responsibility of my late grandma’s business. When age took its toll, he
decided to subdivide his land properties; he then gave his married children
their shares of the land and also gave a big block to two friends who remained
loyal to him even after his retirement.
Two years after my granddad
died, my Mom’s elder brother passed away too so his widow sold his share of
inheritance. Mom’s other brother sold his share too when he decided to migrate
to Hawaii with his family. The three sisters went on with their lives but
remained close to each other.
My Dad...
My Dad was from Baras Rizal and the youngest among 4 children. I still remember, we would often visit my widowed grandma at her house which is situated near a church. After that, we would have lunch at his older brother’s house which is just a kilometer away from my grandma’s. My Dad also used to take me to visit his sister in Pila Laguna but never to his other sister, who lives in Balic-Balic Manila.
Dad was then teaching at an institute when his co-teacher, Mom’s
brother, introduced Mom to Dad.
When Dad resigned from his teaching job, he and my Mom took up a combined business, a restaurant and recreational halls that catered Billiard Pool tables and Pin ball machines. Their chosen business was doing well so they added tailoring and barber shops. With so much paid helpers they managed their busy lives and their growing family.
I was so young then but had noticed how hard both my Mom and Dad worked. Never I had seen them relax and Mom can’t just leave the helpers on their own while Dad was often away visiting branches of his recreational business and at times back and forth to Manila to collect his imported pool tables and pin ball machines at the Pier.
I fondly remember my Dad's trusted friend, Mang Tony. My dad often
asked Mang Tony to visit the branches of his recreational business and do some
repairs of the Pin ball machines.
 |
| Me at the right, in my white Elpo rubber shoes |
I loved getting into Mang Tony’s stainless jeep while it’s parked in
front of our house so I made sure that my Elpo rubber shoes were handy in case
my Dad will agree for me to go with Mang Tony. I was a little repair
helper to Mang Tony; he taught me how to use those little pliers and screw
drivers. Mang Tony also taught me how to count money and bunch them with an
elastic band. That was really fun.
|
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MY SISTER EDEN
The eldest in our family was a boy but he died when he was still a baby. The second one was my beautiful sister Eden, who my parents really adored hence spoiled.
I remember this ...
Gusto ng tatay ko maging boy
ako kasi namatay daw yung kuya ko nung baby pa. Imagine from grade 1 to 6 suot
ko khaki na short at sandong puti at naglalakad ako ng about 1 km to school
while yung Ate Eden ko suot White top &pleated blue skirt at may service
siya to her private school. Madalas akong mapalo kasi being a 'boy' gusto kong
kalaro ko yung mga bata na tawag ng Nanay Ko eh mga 'squatters' daw dun sa
vacant lot ng Lolo Ko. Luckily, nung high school na ako,dun ako pinasok sa same
school ng Ate ko para magamit ko yung old uniform ng Ate Ko.
I love my parents & grateful for their tough upbringing of me because
it enabled me to turn some negatives in my life to positives. I was sad
of the different treatment but felt nothing but admiration towards my spoiled
beautiful fair skinned sister. I idolized her and would often nag her to take
me to the USA, when she gets her visa.
I remember that time when my beautiful sister came home one day hurriedly looking for Mom & Dad. Mom and Dad were not home then but my sister could not wait. She rushed and took some of those thick bunches of money and on the way out she told me to tell Mom and Dad she took some money to buy a car.
During that time, seldom does people used the bank to deposit their money so it was amazing to see those thick bunches of money neatly arranged with elastic band stored on a cloth covered pigeon halls on the wide wall behind the stairs of our house.
Like others I was admiring my sister whenever she parked her blue shinny car in front of our restaurant during her visits. I dreamt that one day I will be driving my own car too.
However, when my idol sister was almost ready to leave for USA, tragedy struck...a quick check-up with the doctor indicated that there was a lump on her neck. She was operated on but sadly, after that operation her health deteriorated and she was forced to leave work. They said it was a botched operation. Not long after, she went into coma & was confined in a private hospital for 3 years. That 3yrs hospital confinement left my parent’s business bankrupt.
I remember how devastated my parents were when my sister got sick.
They were worn out every time they came home from the hospital. But what I do
remember vividly was that one middle of the night; I heard my mother painfully
screaming while getting off our car. I learned later that my sister Eden just
died. I felt sad but I
felt no pain; my beautiful sister Eden will no longer suffer.
GETTING A JOB
It was my sister Eden who helped me get a job at Camp Crame. This
job helped me with my part time nursing studies at FEU.
I particularly remember one of my professors, Mr Onofre
Manahan. On the first day of our class in Mental Health, a subject in
Nursing, Mr Manahan gave each one in the class an exam paper then told us
that he can guarantee that our individual result from that exam will be exactly
the same as on the finals. The following class meeting Mr Manahan wrote all the
answers on the board that I quickly copied. It was a difficult exam so
when Mr Manahan handed me my exam paper I was prepared to get a failed result
but surprisingly I got a C. That was encouraging, so I kept that exam paper and
the answers that I hurriedly copied.
When I was preparing for the finals I concentrated on that
particular subject. I memorized everything that was on our first exam paper,
which I kept, and the result - a
brilliant A on Mental Health. As to my
other two subjects... well they were just okey but I have proven Mr
Manahan wrong.
A few months later some casual employees were laid off from work at Camp Crame but a few were retained because they have “padrinos”. I was one of those who did not have a padrino.
Without a job, I abandoned my studies and took some of the
responsibilities from my parents who were by now basically residing at the
hospital to look after Eden.
My cousin Cora came to help. She asked her boss at the Philippine Herald Newspaper if he could give me a job.
 |
| Me in mini skit |
Again my heavy makeup & short skirts worked to land me a new job. I was
given a list of clients to see and was told to come back to the office at 5:00
pm with at least 5 solicited subscribers of the newspaper. I got 8 subscribers
on my first day.
I was not comfortable to see the boss alone so I asked Cora to come with me. I
was so glad that the boss didn't notice Cora's confused face when I submitted 6
signed subscriptions only.
On the way out I explained to Cora that it was my 1st day so I was not expected to do much, the other 2 were my reserve.
My daily submission increased bit by bit...My basic pay was very low, barely meeting my expenses for food, makeup and my weakness -- imported perfumes. I was so fortunate that my solicited subscriptions kept coming in; it afforded my enrolment in another Course - Bachelor of Science in Education. I also got some credits from some of my passed units in Nursing. I stayed in that job for a while and will forever be grateful of my late cousin Cora as she ensured my safety from our pervert (sorry for my Language) boss.
Back to Camp Crame…
It was amazing how I managed the exhausting daily routine of
clambering up and down the stairs of several buildings to solicit for newspaper
subscriptions, attended university till late and still managed to help my Mom
in the kitchen of our little restaurant that was open 24/7.
One night my Mom handed me a letter from Lt. Pilar Katalbas of
Camp Crame. The following morning I handed all of my remaining solicited
subscriptions to my boss with an attached resignation letter. Monday I was on a
bus on my way to Camp Crame.
My parents were struggling to meet the maintenance of the family
and the studies of my younger siblings. I was desperate to help them but
I was only able to contribute a bit from my little pay at Camp Crame. I then went
into the buy and sell of PX goods.
Aside from this buy and sell sideline, I would always grab any
opportunity of getting extra income; like this one ;
I was on my way to work one day, when I saw a friend whom I had
not seen for a while. We were both excited to see each other and parted with a
promise from her that she will help me if ever I needed a loan at the financial
agency where she was working. I grabbed the opportunity, I submitted a loan
application. The loan would have taken
two weeks to be approved but with her help it took just two days and my loan
was released.
The following day I came to see her and gave her a nice towel...
and proposed a deal that she agreed.
I also made a deal with my gay workmate, Ramy Mendoza, to help me
with the deliveries during his lunch time. To save time from walking from the
office to the delivery places I ensured a lift from the driver of our
Commanding Officer, a Sergeant. I used the total saved time to meet and collect
loan applications from civilian employees and some Policemen then submitted the
applications to my friend. Their applications were approved within two to three
days. Aside from the commissions given me by the agency, I also received 100
pesos from each happy and thankful applicant. My friend and Ramy
Mendoza received 10% commission each from me and the Sergeant driver: snacks and drinks. I always think about
this as an amazing way to survive.
DAD'S LAST DAYS
My Dad was full of ideas and was always on the go. He only
mellowed when my elder sister died. At this time, the family business was
not doing well too and he drowned his sorrow by drinking alcohol and smoking
heavily. My sister's death, the business failure, his alcohol, his smoking, all must have added
to the deterioration of his health; He got sick.
My Dad was a veteran before he became a teacher. he is thus qualified to be treated at the Veterans Hospital when he had a heart attack. However, Mom followed the doctor’s advice to take Dad to Heart Centre Hospital. His long hospitalization and expensive treatment at the hospital forced my Mom to sell half of their commercial property. Dad’s condition improved a bit but their money didn’t last long so Dad was transferred to the Veterans Hospital where he shared a room with 3 other patients.
At that time I already have a husband, Arlen, and a baby girl,
April. Bayani was living with us to look after April while Arlen and I were at
work. Though we were financially struggling we managed to help Bayani with his
part time studies at the University of the East.
Whenever I can, I would visit Dad at the hospital but Bayani didn’t
miss a day to visit Dad. He was there when Dad's 3 hospital roommates passed
away.
One night, at about 10:00 pm, Bayani called, he said Dad might be going away soon because he saw Dad's dead roommates, all dressed in white, floating in the air; they were surrounding Dad’s bed.
I immediately went to the hospital the following morning but Dad was already dead, his remains though, was still on his bed: fully wrapped in white cloth. I cried and embraced Dad when quite suddenly then he burped. I love my Dad but his loud burp scared me and made me ran out of the room screaming. The two nurses who calmed me down explained that the pressure from my head on his stomach released the air that came out like a burp.
At his funeral I kept a distance as I was still scared. I just waved my hand to say goodbye and whispered... I love you Dad!!
MOM'S LAST DAYS
I knew my Mom was sick but not sure how sick she was. Christmas
Eve I was on the phone and asked Dan if I could talk to Mom. He said he
had to carry Mom to the phone. I did not understand what Mom said but I said, “Mom
I’m coming home.” I was tired and weary but my eyes were wide open during our 8
hours journey from Australia to Manila. I can’t believe that after five years
of being away, April and I were on our way home.
Dan said, Mom regained some strength after talking to me. She was
so excited to tell Batis that I was coming home that she asked Dan’s driver to
take her to Batis’ house in Pasig. However, the trip must have taxed her: she
collapsed. Mom was rushed to Sta Maria Bulacan Hospital.
I didn’t like Mom’s situation at that hospital; I called for an
ambulance and instructed the driver to park in front of Dan’s supermarket. Dan
was not happy with my decision to transfer Mom but though hesitant, he handed me the payment for
the ambulance. At the Manila Doctor’s Hospital Mom was admitted after I
handed my credit card.
I rang Dan and told him to send some money. Dan’s
brother-in-law came to the hospital with the money and warned me to be ready as
Dan was so furious of me. I was ready for that as I knew Mom should have more
than enough from the rental of her commercial property that both Dan and his
wife agreed to pay before I left for Australia. Dan paid Mom’s hospitalization
without any further discussion.
For the whole month, from 8:00 in the morning till 7:00 in the
evening I was at Mom’s hospital bedside. Mom got better and came home.
She said she doesn’t want to live at Dan’s house and wanted me to stay with
her. Mom gave up life four months after I and April left for Australia.
MY BROTHER BAYANI
.
What still hurts is when I think of how my two brothers died.
Bayani was a Desk Police Officer performing administrative duties at Valenzuela Municipal Hall when it happened.
It was April 29, 1987 and it was our Mom’s birthday. Bayani wanted his son who was spending a weekend at our younger sister’s Batis’ house in Pasig to be present for lunch, so he asked his boss, a Police Coronel, if he could borrow his car. He was allowed to have the car but he had to pick up and drive his boss to work first.
On their way to work they were stopped right at the middle of the highway by the NPA's: a rebel group. Bayani was already warned he was not the target but his boss, but that did not deter him; his intention to protect his boss caused him his life.
It was a heartbreaking sight when he was honored as a hero at his funeral. Bayani’s 28 year old widow struggled to cuddle all of her 4 children, 3 girls and a boy, aged 6, 4, and 2 years olds and a baby who is just 2 weeks old. His fellow policemen were in tears when they witnessed how Bayani’s widow tried to stop her shaking hands to accept the neatly folded Philippine’s flag while her children were crying.
MY BROTHER DAN
While working at Camp Crame, I struggled to
help my parents support the whole family including financing the studies of my
younger siblings as well as mine. Somehow I helped finance Dan’s schooling too.
After finishing school, Dan was able to get a
job in a bank. After a couple of years, he was assigned to provide training to
other employees and one of the trainees was from Digos Davao. Right after the
training Dan got a new girlfriend... eventually followed by a wedding in Digos,
a wedding that only our mother was able to attend. Davao City is a 2 hour plane
drive from Manila.
Dan's intelligence was noticed by his
father-in-law; he gave them the capital to start a business in Digos but Dan
wanted his own way of managing the business. He and his wife left Digos and
took over our mother's commercial place in Valenzuela Bulacan and started a
Supermarket.
Dan was a smart man. He knew it was not safe to hold the daily
proceeds from his busy supermarket anywhere in his commercial building; he
ensured twice a day run to the bank by different store assistants.
Unfortunately, at around six o’clock one late afternoon, 8 hold-uppers surrounded his supermarket. Dan was able to push pile of big cans of oil, ran and hid. Peeping behind piles of sacks of sugar he saw one hold-upper was climbing the stairs leading to the next floors of his building. Dan knew that at that time his wife and 3 children were eating dinner at the 3rd floor. He quickly came out from his hiding to distract him. The distracted hold-upper fired a shot at him, hitting him on the side of his body; it was a fatal shot.
Dan’s heroic instinct may have saved his family but not his. After the hold-uppers left Dan was lifted to a car and taken to the hospital. It was a wrong move; it caused the gunshot powders to blast and broke Dan’s spine.
At the hospital his wife was advised that Dan had a very slim chance to survive. Dan’s wife did not take that advice and transferred Dan to another hospital. Their hard earned money didn’t make any difference as those specialists were not able to save Dan’s life. Dan left behind a widow and 3 children, two boys aged 10 & 8, and a 5 year old girl.
There were times when I blame myself for my two brothers demise; I helped
Bayani to become a policeman and I gave Dan the idea of that supermarket
business.
MY SISTER VENIE
Venie was once married to Oscar who was a seaman. She had
difficulty in giving birth because of her blood pressure problem but was lucky
to eventually gave birth to a baby girl, Monette.
Venie was extra careful because her old fashion in-laws lived just
across the road from their house. Little did she knew that Oscar was
playing around until one of his relatives told Venie that Oscar’s sister who
was working at the municipal hall helped him sort out the death certificate
of Oscar’s child from his mistress. Venie applied for family migration in
Australia with the hope that Oscar and she can start afresh. Their
application was declined and Oscar continued his liaison with his mistress.
Undeterred, Venie lodged another application as tourist and
reluctantly agreed with Oscar’s condition to leave Monette with her in-laws.
For a month Venie stayed with us while in contact with a woman who she met at
the Australian Embassy in Makati and lived in Sydney. This woman promised
to help Venie with her permanent stay in Australia.
At that time we can only afford to provide Venie a little
allowance and bus fare for her 3 days journey to Sydney. Her stay there took a
while but gave her a new outlook in life. One day Venie was surprised to get a
desperate call from Oscar...that his 16 year old Monette won’t listen to him
and wanted to live with her boyfriend. Before going home Venie asked me
to help her bring Monette to Australia. She met with Oscar and on their second
meeting Oscar agreed to annul their marriage.
I went to see a divorcee friend, Minda. She told me that her
mother passed away but she can’t afford to attend her funeral in the
Philippines. My brain worked again and thought about Monette. Minda
agreed to meet with Oscar in exchange of her airfare and a little
allowance. Amazingly on their first meeting, Minda and Oscar clicked
instantly. They kept their contacts while Oscar waited for the certificate of
annulment of his marriage to Venie. Oscar took the certificate to the
Australian Embassy to complete the last required supporting document on Minda’s
petition of him and Monette. Oscar and Monette arrived in Perth and he moved in
with Minda and Monette with us.
MY SISTER BATIS
Batis was once married to Orlando who worked in Bahrain.
Batis knew that her husband had numbers of mistresses and even busted him when
she was expecting Orlando to come home in December 1989 to spend Christmas with
her and their two children. He was no show but thru the help of Batis’ so
called “medium or psychic” they found Orlando in a house that was just a few kilometer
away. Batis was shocked and numbed to find out that Orlando had married another
woman in Bahrain and also had a daughter from her. Dan and Mom tried to
convince Batis to leave Orlando but she was again sweet talked by Orlando and
six months after, she gave birth to a tiny premature baby girl, Nina.
FINDING PARTNERS FOR MY SISTERS
April’s wedding to Aaron was scheduled April 18, 1998 and she
wanted Venie and Batis as their Godmothers. Arlen and I took a loan to buy
their airplane tickets and together with the wedding invitation they lodged
their applications at the Australian Embassy. Batis also included Nina in her
application. The Australian Embassy gave them multiple entry visas for 12
months but limited to 3 months continuous stay in Australia.
Arlen and I took a month off from work so I can carefully plan for
their stay with us. We drove them around to show the beauty of Australia
then it was time to convince them that in Australia they can enjoy new lives.
Batis was particularly determined to stay permanently as she found out that
Orlando had divorced her and married his mistress.
A month passed; I was on my way to find Venie and Batis their ‘would
be’ husband. I put their names and my home telephone number on the local
newpaper... that they are seeking for genuine relationship. That week I
received numerous calls. I was direct with my questions and required the
callers to give me their address. I used my gut feeling to shortlist the
callers then drove with Arlen to check their provided addresses.
Venie was out with April when her now husband, Allan, came to meet
her. My intense questions thrown to Allan did not deter him instead
before he left he left me a pot he made out of sea shells to give to
Venie. Allan came back but Venie was disappointed to see Allan’s
appearance.... Allan survived a horrific 80% degree burn on his
body. For that reason Venie was not keen on Allan and at that time there
were other two potential candidates who came to visit but indicated that they
would like more time to know Venie. It was obvious to Venie that my first
choice was Allan because I felt his genuine intention towards Venie and his non
hesitance in answering some of my intense questions.
There were also some potential candidates who came to visit Batis
but similarly would like more time to know Batis. A Filipina, Emper, and her
Australian husband, Gary, were my neighbours who lived at the back of our
house. Dieter was recently divorced from Emper’s cousin and frequently visited
Gary and Emper. Gary told me that Dieter wanted to meet someone so I got Gary
to get Dieter to see me first and of course I subjected him to such intense
questionings.
Meanwhile their 3 months stay was almost up. Venie decided to go
back to Sydney while Batis and Nina went to Singapore. Batis and Nina
came back to Perth after 3 days. Venie managed to stay in Sydney but persistent
Allan regularly contacted her. Then it was time for Batis and Nina to exit
Australia again. Dieter already made it clear that he wanted to marry
Batis. I was embarrassed but accepted Dieter’s offer to pay for
Batis’Airfare to Bali. Again after 3 days Batis and Nina came back to Perth. We
were running out of time so we decided to send Batis and Nina home to sort out
Batis’ divorce from Orlando. I also made Venie to go with Batis to sort out our
shares of Mom’s commercial property with Dan’s widow.
Allan decided to follow Venie in the Philipines. He was only
allowed to stay for a month and within that time Allan and Venie were married
by a Judge. Allan pressed the Australian Embassy to approve Venie’s
spouse visa. Venie came back to Perth with Allan. With their remaining
visas Batis and Nina came back to Perth, and eventually followed by celebration
of two happy occasions on the same day, Dieter’s Mom’s birthday and his wedding
to Batis.
MY SISTER IN LAW AJEE
I kept my contact with Bayani’s 28 year old widow, Ajee, who with
her 4 young children moved back to Pampanga and lived in a house close to her 6
brothers. Her brothers were all protective of her,
particularly the older one, Jerry.
Being young and good looking, Ajee attracted many keen suitors but they had no chance with the very watchful eyes of the brothers. Ajee was not happy with her brothers. I told Ajee to come and visit us in Australia. Ajee was very sure she will not be allowed to go. I told Ajee to leave it with me.
I know for a fact that Jerry will open my letter even if I address
it to Ajee. I simply wrote in my letter that she (Ajee) cannot forever let her
brother Jerry support her children... that one day she may be tempted to get
involve with a man and she will manage to keep it secret from her brothers
regardless how strict they are to her... but sincerity from the man she will
get involve with, is not guaranteed because it is a huge responsibility for him
to maintain a wife with 4 young children therefore it is very likely that she
will just be taken for a ride then dumped later.. Whereas in Australia she will
be able to find someone who will love her and her children, hence both she and
her husband then will be able to give her children bright future.....That
letter worked as Jerry arranged for Ajee’s trip to Australia.
Ajee got 3 months visa and on the first Saturday from her arrival
in Perth we gave her $50 dollars and took her to garage sales and taught her
what goods to buy from that $50. The following day, Sunday, we took Ajee
to swap meet or flea market to sell those goods. Her first sale was a whopping
$200 that she sent to her children. We did that routine for a
month.
One time, Ajee came back from using the nearby toilet at McDonald’s and told me that there was a nice looking guy who was following her. That guy came to our stall and pretended to buy goods from us. I approached him and bluntly asked him if he wants to visit Ajee at my place. He said yes, wrote his name, Dave James, telephone number and address.
Dave came to visit Ajee the following Monday and after interviewing him I told him about Ajee’s situation, including her children’s. In a month time Dave scheduled their wedding with a local celebrant, booked a hotel room for their honeymoon and picked up Ajee for their meeting with an Immigration Officer. I lent Ajee a long white dress that I wore once. Their wedding took place at the nearby beach attended by Dave’s young son, Daniel, myself and Arlen as their witnesses.
After their honeymoon Ajee told me that Dave wanted her application first to be processed then later her children’s. I angrily told Dave off and threatened that I will be sending Ajee back home if he will not include her children on Ajee’s application. He reluctantly added Ajee’s children in her application but not happy with me so he left Perth for Melbourne taking Ajee and her son with him. A few months after, Ajee’s 4 children joined her and Dave in Melbourne. Except for her son Vergel, Ajee’s 3 girls adored Dave. Vergel moved with us in Perth and now lived in house he built for his Filipina wife, Maan and beautiful daughter, Vianca.
MY SISTER IN LAW LOIDA
Dan’s widow, Loida, was lonely. She found a replacement for Dan
but their relationship did not last long and the business that Dan left her
eventually went downhill.
Inspired by the new lives of Venie, Batis and Ajee, Loida went for
a month visitor’s visa to Australia. Batis and her friend arranged a meeting
between Loida and Jim. Loida instantly liked Jim but I had a strange feeling
about Jim and I know he was not in the position to petition Loida. A month went
fast so Loida went home. I learnt that Loida had closed the supermarket.
I felt sorry for her and with a change of heart I rang Jim who only needed a
tiny persuasion.
Jim went to the Philippines and married Loida. Jim was on disability pension thus cannot demonstrate financial capability to be able to support Loida and her two dependent children in Australia. He needed someone to give him a written support. Loida also needed someone who will provide a written support and guarantee that she and her two dependent children will not become burden to the Australian government thus they cannot apply for any allowances from the government. Allan provided Jim with his support and Arlen provided Loida and her children with support and guarantee.
Loida came with her son, Denver, and left her then young student daughter with her mom. Years passed; Jim’s erratic behavior towards Loida affected her and Denver. She eventually left Jim. She sold her remaining properties in the Philippines and used the proceeds to pay off her half share of the new house that she now co-owns with Denver.
LIFE WITH ARLEN
Arlen and I had a very basic
beginning. We were both part time students and full time workers at Camp Crame
when we met.
On my first day at work I
observed some girls were shy but friendly, some were snubby. Boys were
different, some were authoritarians and the rest were really friendly. Common
interest formed a group of friends that enjoyed each other’s company in and
outside work.
Being a ‘tomboy’ I often
joined conversations with the boys in the group who were quiet and allowed my
mischievous sense of humour. Billy Marquez, Ben Zaldivar, Boy Sion, Arlen
Santos, Lando De Luna and Manny Maniquiz were my buddies. Billy made me the
Godmother of their 1st born; Ben helped me when I needed to help my brother, Dan.
Arlen and Lando were often my pick-on targets.
One time, a
Lieutenant asked me if I want to attend a programming training, I asked if he
could also include my cousin, Violeta, and Arlen. Arlen got the highest mark
and of course I was 2nd and Violeta 3rd (and that was only because he allowed us to copy his answers
ha ha ha) . Arlen was able to successfully run the PC Payroll program but was
overshadowed by his supervisor who wanted to take the credit for himself; I persuaded him to present himself to the CEO.
I also had some friends
outside work and most of them were boys but I was not mischievous around them.
I also did manage to distract some who were giving me their special attentions
as I was concerned that it will ruin my plan of leaving for America.
The following morning Arlen
came to me and without a word he handed me a folded paper. He wrote ... I love you and I am going with
you to America. Ayayay. We became boyfriend/girlfriend but were able
to keep it secret from the group until we were about to get married.
Our wedding was on a very tight
budget but looked flashy as we had 4 sets of bride maids and best men, 3 sets
of God Parents, who one of them was the wife of our then Commanding Officer,
and attended by quite a few relatives on both sides and workmates. I was really
surprised to see our previous Commanding Officer, Col. Trance, who we forgot to
invite. We went to Baguio for our honeymoon.
After the wedding, we rented
a tiny room at Barrio Camp Crame We used our wedding gift money to buy a wooden
bed, a small gas stove, and a wooden wardrobe. A year after, we moved to an
apartment in Murphy taking our one week old daughter, April.
We were struggling so I
secretly asked Manny Maniquiz to get Arlen a job in Makati.
Our first house ….
I was already pregnant with
our son, Alwin, when we had our 1st house in Lagro, Novaliches, Quezon City. We
were able to purchase this house thru a GSIS loan, a loan facility that caters
to government employees.
With two children in tow, it was
a real struggle to maintain our monthly payment that there were times when we
defaulted with the required monthly amortization. Over time. the 1 month delay became
6 months so we received a foreclosure letter from GSIS. I went to GSIS and was
attended by a middle age man. My heavy make-up and mini skirt worked again; he
gave me another 6 months to clear the arrears. Within 3 months I found a buyer
who paid the full balance of our mortgage and paid us the rest of the agreed
selling price. We used that money for deposit to a new house and lot at Pagibig
Homes in Pasig, a subdivision near Greenwoods.
Migrating to Australia ….
In 1981 we applied for family
migration in Australia, it was declined. Arlen left his Analyst Programmer job
at Camp Crame after he was referred by Manny Maniquiz , an acquaintance, at the Applied Systems in Makati where he was
sent to Hong Kong and Sydney, Australia for seminars.
Arlen transferred to another
company, Datronics Phils, in Makati and was regularly working in Baguio. We
then decided to sell our Lagro property and build a house in Pagibig Homes in
Pasig. We managed to arrange with the
developer to install a wide tinted sliding glass door on the side of the house
overlooking the main road and I tried very hard to fill our newly built house
with new electrical goods and furniture, fitted nice curtains and floor carpet.
These gave our neighbours the impression that we are “rich” but the truth was
to help me with my kind of wheeling and dealing sidelines.
Middle of September 1984 I
heard that the Australian Embassy was again accepting applicants for
migration. I gathered all Arlen’s
documents and got our best friend, Lando De Luna, to remove the word “Mr” on
all documents. I took those documents
and presented myself as Arlen Santos.
When Arlen came down from Baguio I made him fill up and sign our
application for family migration to Australia. It only took 3 months that our
passports were stamped permanent resident.
We decided to stay till the
30th of January 1985 to celebrate Christmas and New Year and gave us the time
to sell our well look after electrical goods and furniture and arranged with my
sister, Batis, to raise money for our airfares in exchange of a Power of
Attorney on our property at Pagibig Homes. My “long term nemesis” brother, Dan,
was not happy when my Mom got him to co-sign the withdrawal slip from their
joint account. My Mom gave us the money for our trip.
On our departure for
Australia on Jan 30, 1985, love ones, workmates, firends and neighbours came to
see us at the Airport. Mom was there and
I can still remember her sad face. She was holding my arm so tight as if she
can stop me from leaving.
We arrived at the Perth International Airport,
Western Australia, at 1:00 am in the morning. Security guards and Airport staff
were watching us as all other passengers had left while we were still sitting
comfortably at the lobby. It was 5:00 am when we boarded a taxi and the driver
drove us straight to a fully furnished apartment. The caretaker, John, handed
us a key to our door after we have paid our rent for two weeks.
We were all
flat out, and only woke up around 3:00 pm.
Our young children were already very hungry so I gave them fresh milk
from the fridge. After a quick shower I went to see John and asked if he could
get me a taxi. With trepidation, I followed the supermarket cashier’s advice to
leave my heavy shopping outside the door. In about 20 minutes I came back with
another 2 plastic bags of fresh fruits.
I was amazed to see my 6 plastic bags full of food were still there and pedestrians were avoiding them. That was in the 1980s when illegal drugs have not found their way to Australia and Policemen only carried batons and no guns.
I was amazed to see my 6 plastic bags full of food were still there and pedestrians were avoiding them. That was in the 1980s when illegal drugs have not found their way to Australia and Policemen only carried batons and no guns.
We made a big mistake of contacting Arlen’s
cousin as she made us moved places several times. The last apartment she made
us moved placed me at risk. I was coming back to the apartment from taking
April and Alwin to school, a scary guy tried to talk to me. I avoided him but
later saw him jumping over the balcony of our apartment. I rushed downstairs and sought help.
Arlen landed his first job at the Water
Authority, a public service department.
After 3 months, I was able to save some money from Arlen’s pay. With
that money and Arlen’s 2 payslips I went straight to the Bank Manager’s
office. Within a month we moved to our
first house in Innaloo, Western Australia.
A year after, I told Arlen I want to get a job.
I found a Traineeship in the Food Industry. About 20 of us were sent for
training. All of the attendees were wearing shorts and t-shirts while me, I
ensured that my shoes, handbags and dress were all of matching colour.
After the training I was hired as a Cashier at the Observation City Hotel restaurant in Scarborough. After six months I left the restaurant and accepted an Office Manager position in a construction Company in Balcatta, Western Australia where I was responsible for payroll, typing and answering phones.
After the training I was hired as a Cashier at the Observation City Hotel restaurant in Scarborough. After six months I left the restaurant and accepted an Office Manager position in a construction Company in Balcatta, Western Australia where I was responsible for payroll, typing and answering phones.
Arlen and I found it too difficult to juggle
our time between his work and mine as well as picking-up of our children from
school. It was on a Thursday when I
bravely went to the office of a politician, John Halden, who earlier had sent
introduction letter of himself to his electorate. I asked him for a referral to work at the
public service. He did and after passing the Public Service Board Exam I joined
the public service and had moved to various Departments within the State
Government.
I left my last job at the Department of Transport after a few
months my nice boss, Ron Carleton, retired and replaced by a nasty boss. It’s
been 13 years since Ron retired but his wife, Sue, and I are still sending and
receiving cards on special occasions, ie, Ron and her birthdays, Arlen and my
birthdays, Christmas, as well as postcards of our holidays.
Meanwhile Water Authority was privatised and
became Water Corporation. Arlen left and moved to another government department
where he stayed a few months then moved to Police Department until he retired
in December 2013.
There’s a big difference between our working life
here in Australia and in the Philippines. Here, office environment is very
cold, people are remote, there’s no mateship. Only during office parties that
workers can let their hairs hang loose. On Fridays, after work, some go to bars
and drink, pretending to be friends with their drinking companions, while some rushes home to
have quality time with their families by taking them camping or fishing for a
couple of days.
There were no ‘after work-get-together’ on week days. Come Monday mornings, it’s all stories of their weekend activities and after that it’s all work work work. So we really miss the warm office environment in the Philippines, the genuine friendship and care between workmates.
There were no ‘after work-get-together’ on week days. Come Monday mornings, it’s all stories of their weekend activities and after that it’s all work work work. So we really miss the warm office environment in the Philippines, the genuine friendship and care between workmates.
We lived for less than 2
years in Innaloo then we sold it and moved to Morley.
In April 1998 our daughter, April,
got married and moved in with her husband, Aaron.
A few years after, we used the equity of our
Morley property to buy a rental property.
After 15 years we managed to convince
our son, Alwin, to take over the remaining mortgage of our Morley property and
we moved to Ballajura. We sold our rental property and bought another one also
located in Ballajura. After 6 years we sold our two properties in Ballajura and
built our Bennett Springs property, where we are currently living.
Finally, we are no longer struggling but
enjoying life and often visit Manila to meet with cousins and lovely friends
and visit the final resting places of departed love ones.
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